sorry i’ve been gone for a couple of months. it just wasn’t a good time for me weight loss wise and i’ve pretty much given up. in the past few months, i was stressed beyond belief having my finals and i travelled around europe as well. it consisted of uncountable binges and calories. in the end i kind of didn’t care anymore about losing weight, although every morning i’d look into the mirror and hate what i saw. stopped binging by the end of last month though when i started letting myself eat more than i normally would. i’d have wholewheat pasta/brown rice EVERY meal because i knew i missed it so much if i ate it frequently i would stop binging on it late at night. and it worked.
now i’m kinda back on track - and i’m TRYING to do it the healthy way. i don’t have a scale with me here, as i’m staying with my relatives for another 1-2 months. but i was 125lbs on 1st june (4lbs gain since europe). maybe it’s a good thing that i don’t have a scale so i won’t obsess over the number so much. i remember how i used to see the number and get so disappointed that i’d go for a binge cuz i was like “doesn’t really matter anymore anyway”. oh how illogical i was. i’ve also not been obsessively counting calories before i eat, which might be a good thing. although i’m really tempted to start counting everything i eat, i know it’ll drive me crazy like it did in the past. so my plan now is to eat tiny portions, eat less carbs (but not cut it out altogether), choose the lower calorie option on the menu, and try to eat dinner early. and of course, no snacking at night.
i’ve skipped dinner for the past 4 days, which i know isn’t healthy at all. but i can’t bring myself to eat at night when i know i’ve probably consumed my daily calorie allowance in the first 2 meals. i’ve also been eating smaller portions and watching my diet more now, cooking lunch to bring to work (less than 400kcals) and having fruit/wholegrain cereal for breakfast. i’m hoping that i’ve lost weight already but it annoys me that i can’t know for sure from a scale. i’m kind of hoping i’d be under 120lbs, although i haven’t been exercising at all. went jogging yesterday and realized how my stamina has decreased after i’ve stopped working out for 2 months :( time to start again! for now the ugw is still 95lbs and i only have 30 more pounds to go. i know i can do it by the end of this summer!
